Be Fertile!

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a
glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"

"What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm
celebrating."

"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the
woman.

"What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my
gynaecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."

"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"

"I switched cocks," he replied.

She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"

Joke Time!

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.'
The doctor says, 'It's old age.'
The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.'
The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

Say It

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
Nope, no more booze for me
Sorry, but you're not really my type
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.

Inspirational Quote

Inspirational Quote that we must always remember:

If others can do....

Let them do it...

Don't forget yourself..
Make life easy..

Sa Gitna ng Kalye

Kapg nakita mo ako na marumi,
warat-warat ang damit,
walang tsinelas,
at nasa gitna ng kalye...

Please lang, huwag kang lalapit...
may Shooting ako,
bawal ang mga Fans..
heheheheheh

Boats or Yachts?

A grandson talking to his grandfather:

Apo: Look at those boats lolo!

Lolo: Amazing, di ba iho? They are called yachts.

Apo: Yachts? How do you spell it Lolo?

Lolo: You're right iho, they are boats..